Contemplating Divorce: The Crossroads
Standing on the precipice of such a big decision can be daunting. Feelings of sadness, guilt, fear and anger are normal now, especially if your spouse is unaware of the extent of your unhappiness or you feel unsupported. You are not alone. There are hundreds of thousands of people feeling stuck in matrimonial confusion. No matter how difficult the circumstances you face, there is a solution.
Whatever your reason for coming to this place or however long you’ve been unhappy and unfulfilled, you will undoubtedly benefit from some guidance in your decision-making process.
The primary goal of my writings and my therapeutic work is to help you sort out your emotions and find your way through the maze of confusion and grief you will likely experience. You no longer have to suffer through this process alone.
Divorce Transition & Recovery: Tips/Tools for Landing on Your Feet
The Three Items Every Divorcing Person Needs
I've spoken with hundreds of divorcing people through the years and three things stand out that every divorcing person has needed in order to have a better experience with their dissolution: reliable resources, good information and sufficient support.
By resources I mean not only family law attorneys, but also accountants, therapists, financial counselors, financial advisors and real estate agents; a divorce team, if you will. These professionals either specialize in divorce or are knowledgeable in this area and know what their clients need.
Not everyone will need the same professional resources so each person's team may look different. For example, a couple with no children will not need a co-parenting counselor and a husband and wife who don't own their home won’t need a real estate agent.
And it’s not advisable to get just any attorney, accountant or therapist. I recommend shopping for each professional which can be a bit more costly up front but could save you a great deal of time, money and energy later on – after you discover the person you hired doesn’t know anything about child custody or complicated financial matters, for example.
When people have more information about what to expect, they are less afraid and, therefore, feel more empowered. Information such as how to file divorce papers, or have your spouse served; how to deal with the intense emotions that come up; how to co-parent through the dissolution; how to gather financial documents and how to create a new budget for living without your spouse.
On multiple levels, divorce is one of the most difficult transitions anyone will make in their life (even if it's the second or third dissolution). Having a supportive environment is vital and can determine how quickly (or slowly) you get through the emotional divorce, which can last for years.
Feeling like your divorce professionals are a good match for your situation and are truly interested in your outcome will make you feel more at ease and trusting.
Services Susan Offers
Individuals or Couples
I work with individuals and couples who are at any stage of the divorce continuum.
For those contemplating divorce, I use the “Marriage Workability Factors” I developed to guide clients in better understanding whether they have a relationship that is actually salvageable.
In addition to those caught in marital indecision, I also provide assistance to people who are in the middle of their dissolution process or who are years beyond the divorce being finalized. There is often a wide spectrum of intense emotions and challenges that come with the ending of a partnership and receiving adequate emotional and psychological support can make a world of difference.
I am available to meet in-person, by phone or via Skype for those who don’t live in the San Francisco Bay Area.
Group is a powerful tool to not only gain clarity on your relationship, but also to come out of isolation by sharing, learning from the experience of others, letting support in and by creating community.
The two groups I offer on an ongoing basis are the Relationship Insight Group and the Women’s Divorce Group.
If you’d like to stay up-to-date on the programs I offer, Please sign up below to receive my newsletter.
Mediation & Collaborative Divorce Coaching
As a complement to her extensive therapeutic background in dealing with inter-personal relationships and divorce, Susan has been trained as both a Divorce Mediator and a Collaborative Divorce Coach. She is on the Board of Directors of the Integrative Mediators of Marin (IM is a holistic model of divorce mediation that employs both an attorney and a mental health professional).