Modernizing Marriage

Let’s face it: marriage as we know it is outdated and it’s not working! This is evidenced by the fact that we have consistently seen at or near 50% divorce rates in the U.S., Canada and many other parts of the globe, since the 1970s.

If anything else we designed had such high failure rates, we would take a good hard look at what we were doing and try something different. With marriage, however, we continue to marry in the same "one-size-fits-all" way we have for years.

Marriage in one form or another has been around since Greek and Roman times and it has been adopted in nearly every culture around the world. Clearly, it is a powerful and important union.  

However, when marriage was first formalized in the year 1215 (yes, 1215!), we didn't live nearly as long as we do today and we married for reasons that are completely obsolete today. Reasons such as to have "legitimate" children, to keep wealth in family lines, and to raise families to carry on work in the trades or on the farms.

Currently, life expectancy has reached 80.8 for women and 75.6 men and future generations are predicted to live to 100. With our lifespans being two or three times that of our predecessors, and with all the choice and mobility we have today, it's no wonder we're seeing more and more people who marry multiple times. Yet, we still stigmatize these people and tell them their marriage "failed."

Why? Simply because that's how we've "always" done it!?

Changing Marriage is dedicated to finding an answer to this issue in a way that supports the idea that marriage is a commitment that shouldn't be taken lightly but that doesn't perpetuate marriage as a "sentence" to be served for those who are unhappy or in abusive situations.

Our tag line is, "Marry Well, Divorce Well," and we aim to change the institution to fit who we are rather than continuing to try to make everyone fit into "it."

Stephanie Coontz, a family studies researcher has this to say about marriage:

"Never before in history [have] societies thought that such a set of high expectations about marriage was either realistic or desirable. Although many Europeans and Americans found joy in building their relationships around these values, the adoption of these unprecedented goals for marriage had unanticipated and revolutionary consequences that have since come to threaten the stability of the entire institution."

Taken from, Marriage, A History: How Love Conquered Marriage