Improving Your Marriage
Are you Caught in a Tangled Web of Marital Discord?
If so, you're not alone. Marriage is complicated.
When trouble starts, most couples try to fix it on their own. That's a good thing. But, if the couple isn't able to repair what's broken and they don't seek professional help soon enough, they can do irreparable damage. Noted marriage researcher, John Gottman, found that most couples wait six years before going into therapy. By then, the layers of pain have piled up.
There is a way out
Over the years, I’ve developed a unique method of untangling the hurt and getting to the heart of the matter—sometimes in one session. Of course, there are no magical cures. Coming to a deeper understanding of the problem, creating new habits, and focusing on the solution takes time but I’ve helped many couples heal relatively quickly and enjoy lasting results.
Most couples get into trouble because they have outdated tools for relating. I help them see where they go off the rails and give them new (more sophisticated) tools that can change the bad dynamic quickly.
Perhaps "the new 'i do'" is for you
Marriage is changing rapidly. New models of marriage are emerging. These include a Parenting Marriage, a Living Apart Together Marriage, an Open Marriage and a Safety Marriage. When your marriage is on shaky ground, you now have more options than to simply stay and suffer, or divorce. You can get creative by trying out one of these newer options (or personalize marriage to fit your own unique needs) on either a temporary basis or indefinitely.
These alternative marriages work for first-time marriers as well. In fact, we're seeing most of these new trends unfolding in the next generation.
Regardless of your age, it's an exciting time to wed.
Learn More about these alternative marriage models
Take this brief quiz to see which marriage is right for you.
Need a tool to improve your communication?
Psychobbabel cards are a powerful and fun tool to improve your communication with your partner. If you and your mate have the same conversations over and over that seems to go in circles, leaving you both feeling frustrated and worn out, this tool is a must for you.
is a past trauma getting in your way?
Unhealed trauma can wreak havoc on relationships. That is true for all types of trauma (car accidents, victim of violence, and being hurt or uncared for by someone you love) but it is especially true for relational or complex trauma. C-PTSD is "when one person betrays, abandons, or refuses to provide support for another person with whom he or she has developed an attachment bond.” (Steffens)
The good news is that, as scientists learn more about the neural networks in the brain, they are discovering that trauma of all kinds is quite treatable. People no longer need to suffer for a lifetime with the pain and sense of isolation that are inherent with many traumas.
The technique to treat trauma that I use is called Brainspotting. It is similar to EMDR in that it uses the eye position to access the inner regions of the brain where trauma gets stuck. Talk therapy is not effective to treat trauma because it keeps clients in their neocortex (which cannot access the trauma). Learn more by going to Brainspotting.com.